Wednesday, July 13, 2011

iPhone Users: How Do You Like Your 4G Coverage?

This amuses me:

Either people don't listen to what features they're getting on their phones or they believe what they want. Regardless, some answers from a new study are surprising.

The survey, done by consumer electronics review and shopping site Retrevo, shows that 34 percent of iPhone owners mistakenly think they already have 4G.

Of course, the reality is that iPhones do not currently use 4G networks...at all.  They're purely a 3G device.  While it could be reasonably assumed that a lot of iPhone owners are confused by all the marketing jargon surrounding "4G" networks and the "iPhone 4", this is the part that really kicks it up a notch for me:

Keeping in mind that so many people think they already have 4G, I guess it shouldn't be too surprising that 22 percent of the people surveyed don't think 4G performance is worth the cost. 

Um, okay.  Let's read between the lines a bit here and focus on what's not being said.  Aside from the fact that they don't actually know what network their phone uses (a lot of Android users probably don't, either), those 22 percent that aren't happy with 4G performance are actually the smart ones (relatively speaking, of course) because at least they've figured out that something's not what it should be.  But what about the other 12%?  If only 22% are unhappy with it, then that leaves a full 12% who think it was worth the extra cost for 4G speed.  Wouldn't most normal people actually work a little harder to understand something that they're paying extra for?

Not these Appleheads.

In the interest of full disclosure, I have to be a bit careful here - my wife is the enthusiastic owner of a new iPhone 4.  I urged her to take advantage of the closing window of Verizon's unlimited data plan, and she didn't really like any of the Android phones available.  She's not a geek, she doesn't tinker, and she isn't all that interested in customization.  Above all, she doesn't want to have to spend a lot of time and energy learning how to use a new gadget.  She just wants it to work, period (insert any of a hundred good jokes about the infamous antenna problem here).  Regardless, she just wants a phone that will also do text messaging, simple Internet browsing, play music, and an occasional random task like driving directions or a shopping list.  She doesn't want a fully personalized, completely configurable, multi-use tool/toy/gadget/information center.  It's not that she can't handle something more complex or robust like my Droid X...it's that she simply doesn't want to.  I suspect she's like many people in that, and to get her a smartphone that truly reflects her preferences and needs, it was actually a pretty easy conclusion to land on the iPhone (yes, for the record, I did recommend it to her).

So, I've come to a new conclusion regarding users of Apple products.  They can be divided into two very different kinds of people.  The first kind is like my wife, and the simplicity and intuitiveness of the iPhone works really well for her (provided you have a $.05 case to protect your $300 iPhone...sorry, couldn't resist!).  The other kind is the true Applehead - a moron who is incapable of independent thought, who cannot do anything if St. Steve doesn't tell him it's acceptable, and who struggles to change his wallpaper.  For these people, the iPhone is the only option they have precisely because it doesn't allow any sense of personality, it tells you exactly what you are allowed to do, and it does almost all of your thinking for you.

If you're a regular reader of this blog, I know you fall into the first class of iPhone owners along with my wife.  Good for you, and enjoy your fancy gizmo.  But admit it...you know I'm right about that other class of iPhone users, too.  We know it's at least 12% of 'em out there...

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