The Ant And The Grasshopper
Via Patriot Post:
TRADITIONAL VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the
ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or
shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be responsible for yourself!
MODERN VERSION:
The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his
house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the
ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come
winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands
to know why the ant should be warm and well fed while others are cold
and starving.
CBS, NBC, ABC and CNN show up to provide pictures of
the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable
home with a table filled with food. America is stunned by the sharp
contrast. How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so? Kermit the Frog appears on MSNBC
with the grasshopper, and everybody cries when they sing, "It's Not Easy
Being Green." Jesse Jackson stages a demonstration in front of the
ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, "We shall
overcome." Jesse then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the
grasshopper's sake.
Democrat leaders, in every media outlet they can find,
exclaim that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper
and call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair
share.
Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity and
Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer! The ant
is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and,
having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is
confiscated by the government.
Hillary Clinton gets her old law firm to represent the
grasshopper in a defamation suit against the ant, and the case is tried
before a panel of federal judges that Barack Obama appointed from a
list of single-parent welfare recipients. The ant loses the case.
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up
the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in,
which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him
because he doesn't maintain it.
The ant has disappeared in the snow. The grasshopper
is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned,
is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful
neighborhood.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Be careful how you vote in 2012.
This would be great if you could tell it all in about 30 seconds. Remember, the people you are trying to reach are products of the Pee Wee Herman culture. Concentration spans are limited to 10-30 seconds.
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